The Pre-Wedding Wedding

In Kazakh culture, one wedding isn't enough. My host sister's wedding will take place on Saturday, but according to local tradition, the celebration begins a week early. This event is roughly transliterated as a toi and it is largely like any other Kazakh party: many tables and way too much food. We sit down and eat and then we get up to dance, and possibly play a silly game. This is followed by more sitting down and eating and more dancing. Lather, rinse, and repeat. Kazakh parties are very structured and while they are interesting for cultural reasons, there is always a clash that stems from my discomfort at sitting down all the time, and Kazakhs discomfort at the fact that I might be standing.

The overarching theme of the toi seemed to be a sending-off party hosted by the bride's family. While members of the groom's family were present, relatives and friends of my host family came from Zhezkazgan, Satpaev, Karaganda, Astana, Almaty, and Balkhash. As the night drew to a close, tears were shed, and my host sister walked off with her future husband and his family. While they won't be officially married until Saturday, she is gone from our house for good. It is apparently tradition for the bride to live with her future in-laws for a week before moving out with her husband after tying the not. Living with in-laws for a week before a marriage is not the typical American's idea of a great time, but this tradition seems to be entrenched and unquestioned in Kazakhstan.

Seven hours is a long time for any social function. The toasts regress from eloquent to brief as the vodka and cognac flow. To make a long story short, in the final hour various Kazakh men tried to:

1. Convince me to come to Balkhash, effective immediately
2. Marry their daughter
3. Convince me that rap was actually invented in Kazakhstan

I also got a nice wet kiss on the cheek from a portly guy who seemed overjoyed at the sight of everyone and everything. I'll post pictures after the wedding next weekend.