Kazakhstan in Love

Last Sunday was a momentous occasion for my host family: the younger of their two daughters got engaged. The Kazakh engagement is definitely not the typical American on-bended-knee type of proposal. In fact, the engagement itself is a long, planned-out party. The whole process felt more like Sonia was getting engaged to her boyfriend's family rather than her boyfriend himself, a feeling that was fueled by the fact that the groom-to-be wasn't even present! It's tradition, I'm told.

(Sheep's head is one of the most notorious delicacies in Kazakhstan. Thankfully I wasn't deemed important enough to partake.)

The festivities began around 3pm in the afternoon in the same fashion of every social function in Kazakh culture. The guests came and everyone took their seat around the table and began tucking in to the disconcertingly huge piles of food heaped everywhere. My host mother then brought out several huge platters of beshbarmak, the Kazakh national dish. Kazakh women seem to gain a great deal of personal satisfaction by exhorting me to eat as much as I possibly can. The only way to cope with such a gastronomic onslaught is to leave something, anything, on your plate. This method works nicely for me because that "something" is usually the huge mess of horse fat, tendons, and arteries that inevitably sneaks onto my plate. While that may be appealing to some people at the table, I call that killing two birds with one stone.

(One of many heart-felt toasts, I'm sure, but I wouldn't really know because everything was in Kazakh)

The whole event lasted about six hours, which for me is pretty intimidating. Kazakhs are perfectly content to sit around a table for hours on end, but I became unbearably restless by the end of the third hour, especially because all conversation was in Kazakh, except for my toast in Russian. Fortunately I had home-field advantage and I was able to wander around the few other rooms in the apartment to stretch my legs. This also served a dual purpose because I was able to keep my soon-to-be-engaged sister company while she wasn't allowed in the dining room! While the two extended families were meeting each other for the first time, Sonia was biding her time in the next room. Eventually, her older sister brought her into the room to officially meet all of her in-laws.



Instead of a ring, the engagement was made official by two earrings, a gift from the groom's family. After this little ceremony, everybody stayed for another few hours. A few hours and countless bottles of vodka and cognac later, the visiting family finally departed.

(A proud father makes a final toast)

The wedding is in early April and that should be really interesting. Sheep's head for everybody! Hopefully the groom will show up for that one.